Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to.

To my grandpa chen:

You passed away when I was 7, but some of my greatest childhood memories revolve around you. I am not afraid of a lot of things, but I was truly afraid when I lost you. And now, I'm just afraid that I will forget you in time. It's been so long and I was fairly young, but there are just some things I can't forget. You may not know it, but I still cling onto the thought of you. I remember your favorite blue chair and how you would be able to sit there for hours, watching tv and holding me on your lap. I remember the sweet bread you used to buy every week just because it was your favorite. I remember how you used to spread newspapers on the dinner table before we ever had our meals. You used to wake up early just to cook for me when I came over daily and you spoiled me rotten. I was considered the youngest then and you used to spin me around, tell me I was your favorite, hold me in your arms, and keep the older kids from picking on me. You scolded them for messing with me, spanked their booties when they pulled pranks on me, and you never let anything bad happen to me. You protected me and you were my protector. When you passed away, I felt scared and unsure of myself. You always made me feel safe and I don't think I have ever felt the same love again. No one did ever love me the way you loved me. The bond we had was special and I will always remember you dearly. If I could tell you something, anything. I would tell you how fond I am of you and how much I miss you. You were the head of our household, a true family man, and my wonderful ye-ye.

Summer 2010,

...it's been real, but I got to let you go.

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to.

To my sweet, dear grandma:

My whole life growing up, I have always considered you my parent. You brought me up, taught me right from wrong, and g ave me a special kind of love unlike any other. I'm not saying dad and my mom weren't great parents. I know they did their best, but any ounce of good sense I may have picked up along the way has come from you. You are my sweet, sweet ma-ma who has raised me with so much love, taught me the morals I encompass to this day, and encourage me always with your wise words. I am the way I am today because of you and no one could ever come close. As a little girl, I have always been by your side. And I also know that as time flies by and seasons change, I am growing up and unintentionally, slowly drifting from your side. You probably think I forgot about you since I don't always get to see you as much as I would like. You have no idea how sad that makes me because it couldn't be farther from the truth. You mean everything to me and I want to do my best from now on to come see you more often. The truth of the matter is I don't think I will ever be able to care and love another human being the way I do with you.

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet.

John Steinbeck,
You are beyond doubt one of my heroes. Although you passed away over 50 years ago, you are definitely someone I would love to meet. I first discovered you in the 7^th grade when I read “Of Mice and Men.” I remember finishing that book in awe and after that, constantly scanning library shelves for your amazing work. To this day, you remain my favorite writer. My all time favorite has got to be “The Grapes of Wrath” because that was justly your first great book and also your last great novel. Your legacy truly lives on through your work.

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend.

I don't have any internet friends.

Girl crush: Marilyn Monroe

"Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul."

Marilyn Monroe

on repeat,

"I just wanted to be at peace with you. And if I gotta settle for a piece of you, then I gotta say peace to you."

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend.

I'm sure I will write a letter to him down the road so until then....

Day 6 — A stranger.

I don’t talk to strangers. I’m extremely shy so I don’t think that would ever happen. I do love meeting new people through friends though, but I believe strangers are strangers for a reason. I have to admit that sometimes I do look around and notice the people around me. People, in general, fascinate me. There are just certain people I see pass by on the street, in pictures, in classes, on trains and I want so much to hear their story. To ask them, “Are you truly happy?"

levi's love

mmmhm...

Day 5 — Your dreams.

Hello,

Lately, my dreams have been a tad off and I’ve been wondering why that is. I have been dreaming of the most random things and half the time, I don’t even know what I’m dreaming about. I always seem to forget once I wake up, no matter how hard I try to remember. I am determined to remember and record my dreams one of these days.

Reminiscing

When I see kids watching Hannah Montana or The Wizards of Waverly Place or iCarley these days, I can't help but feel sorry for them. Because the best shows were created in the 90's -hands down! The millennium ruined good TV. I want the 90's back.

Shows like Kenan and Kel, All That, Who's Afraid of the Dark?, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Doug, Hey Arnold, Rugrats, Boy Meets World, The Wonder Years, etc. > The shit on TV today

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Jennifer,
We bicker, we fight, we make up, we brawl over the bathroom, we share (sometimes), and you lecture me…a lot. We can’t stand each other but at the same time; I could never see myself living anywhere without you. You are like the loving, pestering pet that I can’t get rid of. You are my worst enemy, my role model, my confidant, my sister. And I know that whatever I do, you will always still be there. If you were batman, I would be your Robin. I will always gladly be your most loyal sidekick and you can count on it. Most importantly, we are friends. We fight and make up like sisters, but we are more like best friends. I am never without you, that’s for sure because we really are attached by the hips. We do everything together, we hang out with the same people, and we know each other better than we know ourselves. We are the real true definition of sisters. I love you so much and I am thankful for you every day of my life.

Girl crush: Audrey Hepburn

"The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. "
Audrey Hepburn

I could fall asleep to this,

Day 3 — Your parents.

To my dearest daddy,
No words can describe how much I appreciate you and the things you’ve done for this family. You are a wonderful father who have always put your daughters first. If anything ever happened, I know you would give us the clothes off your back and I love you for that. I’ve been helping you out with the family business ever since the tender age of 13 and I will always continue to do so. I know how hard you work for this family and I don’t want you to think for a second that I would ever turn my back on you. You’re so hardworking, family-oriented, driven, and you make me a better person. You give so much of yourself and you always have. I just want you to know how lucky I feel to be your daughter.


Dear Mommy,
I don’t know where to start. I love you even though we’re not as close as most mothers and daughters are. Sometimes, I just really need a mother but I don’t think you always act like one. You transformed a lot and I miss how things used to be. Your actions are so careless and selfish at times. It’s hard to spend time with the family when you’re never home. Recently, I feel like we don’t know each other anymore. We see each other for 5.3 minutes during the day and we’re already bickering and yelling. We both have things we can work on, I agree. Maybe, after the divorce, things just changed. I’m getting older and you’re living in the moment, trying to find yourself and we’re just growing apart way too fast. Even though I don’t always agree with your decisions, I know I should be more understanding towards you and the things you do. You’ve been through a lot. Having four daughters in a 20-year marriage that ultimately failed is a hard pill to swallow and I know the divorce put a huge toll on you. You’re not a horrible person or mother because deep down, I know you care and there is a part of you that longs for us to be a real family again. I really do wish we had a better relationship.

Bucket List (#2)

- take a yoga class
- experience the 'road life'
- be more open to trust
- make a pen pal
- travel Europe
- be a writer
- find my calling
- attend a Jay Z concert
- learn a new language
- write a children's book
- go on an African safari
- write a love letter
- run a marathon
- fall asleep within 10 minutes, regularly
- sleep under the stars

Day 2 — Your crush.

Taeyang,
I am currently crushing on you hardcore. We probably will never meet for three reasons. First, you're this big superstar singer in Korea. Second, you live in Korea. And third, I am probably one in the millions of girls who wishes they could have your baby. I guess what I'm trying to say is...you’re just so freaking sexy! The first time I laid eyes on you was when I first watched your music video ‘Wedding Dress’ and I couldn’t help, but to play it over and over and over again. Not because I like the song or understand it, but because I think you are a beautiful human being.

#truth

Day 1 — Your best friend.

Evelyn Leong,
Oh my, where do I even begin? You are one of the few people I can actually count on. I know you always have my back 100% and I'm so thankful to have you in my life. I would rather have one you than all the friends in the world. We’ve been together since we were youngins and we’re still together to this day and that proves volumes. You are like a sister to me. We are so completely different, but that’s what makes our friendship work. We hang out with different people and we like different things but none of that even matters because at the end of the day, I can still call you my best friend and mean it. In a lot of ways, I envy you because you’re such a strong and smart individual. And you’re also the most family-oriented person I know. You go through far lengths and beyond for your family and the things you do every day for them amazes me. It inspires me to do better, be better. Love you!

Current inspirations

These pictures are currently inspiring me to:

1. do a similar design on my nails. (Which by the way are all F'ed up due to the act of laziness, but this design looks so perrrrty!)
2. draw again. Drawing used to be one of my hidden talents...until I forgot I once loved it.
3. make a crappy, but beautiful homemade tent indoor just like when I was a kid. So I can bring out the inner-child in me and have a slumber party with my baby sister all night looong.
4. re-find my passion for reading. There are so many books I want to read, to explore, to self-indulge myself into but first, I need to want to actually do it.
5. catch up, hug, and gossip with my best friend. I haven't seen her in a long while and I feel horrible. Plus, I miss her terribly.

30-day challenge

A Letter to …

Day 1 — Your best friend.
Day 2 — Your crush.
Day 3 — Your parents.
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams.
Day 6 — A stranger.
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush.
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend.
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet.
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to.
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to.
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain.
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you.
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from.
Day 15 — The person you miss the most.
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country.
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood.
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be.
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad.
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest.
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression.
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to.
Day 23 — The last person you kissed.
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory.
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times.
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to.
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day.
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life.
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to.
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror.

Easy listening

Sick track. The Roots Cd is a must have.